o la la

I had the chantier meeting today. It was meant to kick off at 9 this morning with the iron monger but he called at about midnight last night to say he couldn't make it. Too many Digestifs after dinner perhaps?

After this initial let down, my mood was greatly improved by the sight of all my beautiful tiles arriving on workmens shoulders through every open window and door - like sunlight bleeding into a dark and dank void. Ok maybe a little too poetic... but I can't tell you how happy I was. I was so excited I almost fainted.

The house meeting went on for 4 hours - starting with the sanitation guy - talking about pipes and other such exotic things... then the painter - who usually complains and acts like he's had a lobotomy when ever I ask something of him - today he was flumoxed. I had printed out Sample Scheme sheets for each room with the colour printed and written so clearly he scratched his head and had to admit he understood everything that I wanted. Just seeing his crestfallen face when he saw how clear it all was, was worth the 7 hours I had put into creating the boards! It can really pay to be anal.

After having finished with The Painter (perhaps we should drop the 'ter') - the iron monger showed up. We spent a good few hours talking about iron. Windows which are lower then 1m need a safety barrier. I had in mind a nice wrought iron bar placed horizontally 20cm's up from the window sill. He whipped out a devis where each window barrier would cost 1430.-. We have 4 windows that need barriers. My turn to do some magic - I whipped out a window barrier I had found at Leroy Merlin for 15.50 euros. There was a long moment of silence as we silently mulled over the 1415.- price difference. Watch this space...

After this moment of great satisafaction I grabbed some food nearby and returned to our empty shell. There were no workers and for once I didn't mind. I opened all the boxes of tiles smiling and stroking each choice in turn like an old friend... fancy seeing you here! - it's been so long - last time I saw you, you were in a show room in Aubonne! Imagine that, now here you are gracing the floors of our dust-pit!

And then I opened my bathroom tiles. I had to sit down.

How to describe them!? They looked like Roquefort cheese - if Roquefort cheese were grey and the fungal spores red... Nothing like the glossy picture adorning the walls at Getaz! Had I really voluntarily paid quite a lot of money for something which looked like it had spent a good few years in a dark, damp cave many miles from any cleaning products!?

I can only hope that my meeting with the Tile Man tomorrow morning will bring wonderful news on how these tiles will simply transform with the application of some special finishing agent (this is where he'll pull one of those typical work-men face sand inhale deeply, shake his head in regret and say... 'but that is quite a lot of work you know and I'll have to draw you up a devis...' which may just negate the saved costs of the window barriers...!