Before you get the wrong idea, let me immediately highlight the key word here - crèche.
It seems that our house has turned into a 'pop up' kindergarten in it's fleeting transition between 'building site' and 'home'.
As building lends a whole new meaning to the word 'mental' in the last few days leading up to the handing over of the keys... (3 to be exact) I'm starting to understand why workmen wear gloves!
It's to protect their most valued tool - their index finger!
The use of the index finger goes far beyond the teasing of freshly laid carpet, or the delicate removal of a smudge of paint or the tender smoothing of a hard edged wood flooring. Oh no... the index finger has a much more treasured role to the builder!
With the swift extension and tautening of the aforementioned digit, fault is seemlessly transfered from one builder onto another!
If builders lost their index fingers in an unfortunate accident, they would lose their ability to swiftly transfer blame onto someone else for work shoddily done and this would cost a company thousands in time spent correcting mistakes.
I wouldn't be surprised if construction companies employed workers primarily on the rapidity of their brain-finger reaction time when hiring them. Pay rises would be based on increased unfurled finger endurance.
So with a house full of painters, plasterers, carpenters, carpet layers, cupboard fitters, plumbers, tilers and electricians all crawling over each other (squeezing 365 days of work into 48 hours) it has turned into a bit of a dusty schoolyard and I happen to be the teacher doing the lunch break stint. Oh where is the project manager when you need him...
... actually on reflection maybe his not being here today is the smartest thing he's done in the last 2 years!
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